Dry Bowser's Snowy Investigation
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Dry Bowser discovers that snow is somehow occurring in the Grumble Volcano. He determines to get to the bottom of this predicament, and bringing alongside him Birdo, goes through a journey he won't forget.


Dry Bowser always enjoyed the volcanic heat that the Grumble Volcano provided. Granted, he could always go to other hot places, and any other place in general due to being a skeleton infused with dark magic, but he specifically chose the Grumble Volcano as his personal favorite spot to spend time in. Although there were certain times when those moments of peace were interrupted...

...and it was in this moment, that something bizarre happened to the Grumble Volcano. A weird occurrence that never happened, until now.

Dry Bowser woke up from his rest on the top of the Grumble Volcano's crater, glancing up to see snow somehow falling down on the volcanic racecourse.

"What the hell...?" Dry Bowser muttered, not believing what he was seeing as he was genuinely confused by this very predicament. "Where is this snow coming from...?" Determined to get to the bottom of this, Dry Bowser jumped off the volcano, heading all the way down as he was determined to see what was going on.

Deciding not to delay his progress, Dry Bowser was on his way to the source of the snow that was going on in his fiery home at the Grumble Volcano, wondering exactly where it was coming from, and determined to get to the bottom of it, for he was sick of this happening.

"Why is it snowing here?" Dry Bowser stated as he was running on top of the molten magma surrounding the entire volcano based racetrack, wearing a special pair of boots as he clenched his skeletal fists. "This is illogical... there's no way something like this should happen!"

Dry Bowser then unexpectedly went through a warp portal, screaming as he tumbled through the space time continuum, having no idea of where he will land.

Dry Bowser broke into various pieces of dusty old bones as he groaned, putting himself back together using his dark magic as he took a look around, to see that it was still snowing, only he was now at the Sunshine Airport, where it was also strange that it was snowing due to the airport based racetrack being in a tropical, humid area. The only good thing about the random snow going on was that it was polishing of Dry Bowser's bones for him, shaving time on otherwise needing to clean himself from all the dust collecting around him.

"Snow here too, huh?" Dry Bowser murmured as he glanced nearby to see Birdo land on the smooth green grass in a small plane, approaching her as he pointed upward at the oddly blue colored sky. "Hey Birdo, do you know about this?"

"The snow? Oh, no." Birdo explained as she shook her head. "That's been going on and off for several minutes. I don't know how or why."

"...would you like to help me find out?" Dry Bowser asked as he rolled his bony hands together.

Birdo nodded her head, opening her eyes. "Well, it beats doing nothing but flying around here all day." Getting out of her plane, she joined Dry Bowser on figuring out what was going on in regards to the snow, with the two going through another warp that appeared just below them.

Dry Bowser and Birdo took a dive through various warps, of which were all vastly different colors as they eventually made their way into the gritty, normally rainy Neo Bowser City, with the rain in question also replaced with the snow. Dry Bowser squinted his eyes to see that there were no vehicles driving or soaring around, with Birdo pointing out that the electronics froze up due to the sudden cold nature of the snow.

"Dry B, look! The snow is having a negative effect on this city!" Birdo explained as she pointed at the static billboards that usually illuminated the watery streets.

"Hmm... it appears so..." Dry Bowser observed as he closed his eyes, his bones beginning to freeze up as they got whiter. "...I take it that we're getting close to the source... the snow here is heavier on me than it was at the airport, or the volcano..."

"...the volcano?" Birdo remarked in confusion, with Dry Bowser explaining to her in a grumble as the two noticed a shadowy figure zipping by them, chucking two snowballs at the two reptiles.

With this being their clue, Birdo and Dry Bowser chased after the suspicious figure, wondering if it was the actual mastermind behind all this snow.

Dry Bowser and Birdo kept dashing after the shadowy figure they saw in Neo Bowser City, tracking it all the way to the toy themed Ribbon Road, where various toys of all shapes and sizes were present. Of course, given the nature of what was occurring in the various race courses they have been at before, despite the Ribbon Road racetrack being indoors, it was somehow snowing there as well, with the likely predicament in this case was that there were snow machines installed high above around the ceiling. Anyway, back to the point of action, Dry Bowser chucked several of his bones at the shadowy figure, which slowed it down, but in response, it chucked a boomerang at Dry Bowser, reducing him into a pile of bones. Birdo tripped over several of the scattered ribs, landing flat on her face, but quickly shooting an egg right at the shadow figure, hitting it in the process.

"Oof! I managed to land a hit!" Birdo exclaimed as she quickly got back onto her feet.

"Great job, Birdo! Don't get cocky!" Dry Bowser shouted as he placed himself back together, with the two reptilians heading around the tower of blocks for which the figure was knocked down at, glancing at it to see some bits of familiarity in it.

"...it's you!" Dry Bowser and Birdo said in unison as they couldn't believe who the shadowy figure actually was.

"That's right, it's a-me, Wario, and you're not going to ruin my plan to get rich quick!" Exclaimed the dastardly Wario, who laughed as he twisted his mustache.

"Wario!? What the hell!?" Birdo exclaimed as she just shook her head in disbelief. "Why would you be doing all of this with snow?"

"Yeah... I don't think it's in your cruel, uh... nature, to do this sort of thing." Dry Bowser pointed out as he folded his bony arms. "I know you're a shady midget, but snow isn't what I expect from you."

"Really now?" Wario scoffed as he grabbed both of the reptiles and jumped through a warp portal that was literally next to them, going all the way through it as they were in Diamond City, with Wario pulling out his Wario Bike out of his big pink nose as he piled the two reptilians on the front, riding all the way through the city based racetrack as he went around again, this time taking a different path, showing off the snowy area with snow machines cranking out the white fluffy frozen particles of water. "Do you see? All of this snow... can be used to make snow related items, for the summer, and if anyone cares to do so, the spring and autumn!" He then somehow pulled another warp portal out of his butt, going right through it as he had Dry Bowser and Birdo attatched to his gross, sweaty armpits, much to their disgust as he landed at the top of his Mount Wario racecourse, releasing the two as he extended his buff arms out. "This whole track... belongs to me. And I make such a damn good killing on it! Would be ashamed if I were to lose it, eh?"

"So... the reason there's snow everywhere is because you want to scam folks out of their money with winter?" Birdo stated in dismay as she shook her head. "That's delusional!"

"No, that's rich, and I'm very proud of that!" Wario remarked as he scratched his butt, rolling his eyes. "So if you don't like it, then... you can smell my pits! Wah ha ha!"

"The only pit you're going to smell is the one that has you falling for hours!" Dry Bowser growled as he jumped at the fat portly human, only to tumble down the snowy mountain as Wario laughed.

"Wahaha! I don't even have to do anything and you already make an embarrassment of yourself!" Wario taunted as he turned around and spanked his rear, sticking out his tongue.

Birdo decided not to just stand by doing nothing, so she took in a dare dive, tackling Wario down the mountain, with all three characters heading down the snowy terrain at a notorious fast pace, with a warp appearing right at the edge of several jagged, snow covered rocks.

Dry Bowser, Birdo, and Wario were in a tussle regarding the weird natural occurrence of the snow appearing in all sorts of non cold environments, with the two reptiles giving it their all to stop the lardy fat money obsessed mammalian with elf ears from scamming people out of their cash for the feeling of snow. Unfortunately for both of them, Wario was as muscular as he was fat, giving the two a lot of trouble they wished they had avoided, with Birdo having to put up with Wario's gross tactics while Dry Bowser had to deal with having his bones broken apart time and again, the three fighting across the various warps as they all ended up on the Cloudtop Cruise, with it snowing everywhere despite it literally being in the sky, including the thunderstorm induced section where it always rained.

"Give up! My great scheme has already worked! You'll never stop it in time!" Wario boasted as he grabbed the green beanstalk growing by him and ripped it apart, munching on it.

Dry Bowser shook off all the snow that was collecting on his skeletal body, clenching his bony fists as his beady orange eyes turned blue with rage. "So long as my bones stay part of my body, I'll never let you win!"

"Yeah! Besides, you have enough money and scams as it is!" Birdo exclaimed after fixing her red bow, proudly standing next to Dry Bowser.

Wario laughed as he patted his stomach several times. "We'll see about that! There's never enough for Wario! WAH!" He then gave the two reptiles a shoulder bash, knocking them through a wooden airship, which caused the flying boat to go down soaring.

Dry Bowser and Birdo quickly grabbed a nearby yellow balloon as they were lifted out of the wreckage, with Wario clapping his way upward as he then bashed them with his head, causing the two to go spiraling towards the thundercloud portion as they landed on the metallic road, groaning in pain as Dry Bowser was reduced to a pile of bones again.

Wario continued his wicked cackle of dastardly glee as he reached the platform, clenching his fists as he switched out of his regular yellow and purple colored overalls for his biker uniform from WarioWare, swapping out his iconic yellow hat with his biker helmet. "And now... it's time for you to meet with a terrible fate..." Clenching his fists, he let out a mighty cry of 'WAH' as he ran right towards Birdo, who stood her ground in defense of the broken up Dry Bowser, willing to face whatever horror awaited her.


End file.
